In the real world of sex, getting into the mood isn’t always as easy as it seems in the movies. (Like most things in life.) Maybe your once-vibrant sex life has dimmed, or maybe it’s slowly fading that you can’t quite put your finger on. Regardless, it helps to know how to increase a woman’s libido and feel like herself again.
First, having a low sex drive doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong with your relationship. We can be content in a great partnership, content with our lives, and still find ourselves wondering why our libido seems to have taken a sabbatical. While this isn’t something we discuss openly often, it’s actually quite common. If you experience low libido, know that this is completely normal, healthy, and normal. Let’s take a closer look at what might be going on and discover how to rekindle the spark.
Lauren Zielinski, MSN, CNM
Lauren Zielinski is a certified nurse practitioner and midwife with over 11 years of experience in women’s health and fertility. She studied medicine at the University of Colorado Denver, focusing on community health and fertility center work.
What is “normal” when it comes to my sexual desire?
We are all unique–and so are our sexual desires. Sexual desire varies from person to person and is affected by factors including age, hormones, and relationship dynamics. So what is considered “normal” really depends on you and how you feel about your sexual desire. It’s important to remember that low libido only becomes a problem if it causes distress, affects your quality of life, or is a significant mismatch with your partner’s desires.
Common culprits of low libido
In many cases, it’s not that your libido is “low” in a clinical sense, but it may simply be out of sync with your partner’s. This is where communication, compromise, and even couples therapy may help. Want a deeper understanding of what might be affecting your libido and how to boost it? Let’s get started.
drug
Certain medications can have surprising effects on your sex drive. The best known are antidepressants, especially SSRIs (such as Zoloft, Prozac, and Lexapro), and hormonal contraceptives, such as birth control pills, rings, patches, or injections. These drugs can alter your hormones, which can suppress your sex drive. This isn’t something that everyone experiences, but if you notice changes, it’s worth discussing it with your healthcare provider.
Pro tip: Hormonal IUDs (such as Mirena or Skyla) or copper IUDs are less likely to affect your sex drive, so they may be worth considering if you’re looking for alternatives.
what to do: If you suspect that your medications are affecting your libido, do not make any changes on your own and discuss your concerns with your healthcare provider. Sometimes, adjusting your dose or switching to a different medication can make a big difference. It’s all about finding the right balance that suits your body and needs.
mental health
Your mental health is closely tied to your sexual desire. Depression, anxiety, and other mental health conditions can drain your energy and make you feel disconnected from your partner. Dr. Frederick K. Goodwin, a noted psychiatrist, explains, “The entire process of sexual arousal begins with the ability to anticipate pleasure, which is lost in depression.”
what to do: Getting back on track may require therapy, medication, or a combination of both. Open communication with your partner about your needs and expectations can also relieve some stress and help you feel more confident as you work to improve your mental and sexual health.
pressure
Stress is another big killer of libido, and it’s something we all face. When you’re stressed, your body goes into “fight or flight” mode, releasing stress hormones like cortisol and throwing your sex hormones out of whack. This is your body’s way of saying, “Now is not the time for pleasure—we have more important things to worry about!”
what to do: If stress is affecting your libido, it’s time to engage in some serious self-care. Let go of some unnecessary commitments, make time for yourself, and remember that it’s okay to say no. The better you feel, the more likely you are to be in the mood.
Tips and Tricks on How to Boost Women’s Libido
turmeric
Turmeric is one of the best spices in the game from a taste and functional health standpoint. Turmeric contains a compound called curcumin, which has been shown to increase testosterone levels, a key hormone that enhances libido in both men and women. Whether you add it to cooking (we’re obsessed with golden milk) or take it as a supplement, turmeric can help boost calories.
Pro tip: Make sure your turmeric supplement contains at least 1,000 mg of turmeric and contains black pepper, which helps your body absorb curcumin.
exercise
Exercise is a good medicine, and it is also effective for sexual desire. Regular exercise can improve heart function, blood flow, and overall health—all of which contribute to a healthier sex drive. You don’t have to be a fitness fanatic to reap the benefits; even 30 minutes of exercise a day can make a difference. Plus bonus: Having sex after exercise can increase blood flow, which can lead to more intense orgasms.
Read more: A trainer swears by low-impact exercise – which stole her weekly workout time
quit bad habits
Smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, and recreational drugs can disrupt sleep, circulation, and brain function, which can affect sexual desire. If you regularly indulge in these habits, consider cutting back or quitting them entirely. You might be surprised to find that you feel more energized and alive both in and out of the bedroom.
takeout
Your libido is a critical part of your overall health, and it’s worth taking the time to cultivate it. If you are having trouble, always seek more personalized advice from your healthcare provider or sex therapist. Remember, sex is a natural and beautiful part of life, and everyone deserves to feel comfortable and content in their own skin. So, go ahead, embrace the journey, and enjoy the journey!
Read more about cultivating your sexual health:
Post updated on January 16, 2024
Post updated on July 13, 2024
