In recent months, I’ve found myself longing for something deeper—a stable sense of inner peace, like a quiet confidence in who I am and how I move through the world. I want to believe that my performance is enough, not just for others but for myself. It was during this personal thought process that I met Elle Pugh, a certified Enneagram counselor and coach, at our annual Camille Style Editorial Summit. Working with her brought me a surprising sense of clarity and took me on a path of growth that I never expected. Elle’s approach to personal development is rooted in the Enneagram, which feels like an invitation for people to unpack old patterns and discover broader ways of being.
The experience was transformative, illuminating areas in my life that I had held onto too tightly and allowing me to release things that no longer served me. The Enneagram is more than just a personality framework; It became a mirror that reflected my strengths and blind spots. I knew I wanted to go deeper─not just for myself, but to share this wisdom with others. There is profound power in understanding how we operate at our core, and I see the potential for this tool to inspire healthier, more meaningful relationships both personally and professionally.
Featured image is from Jenn Rose Smith’s interview with Riley Blanks Reid.
What is the Enneagram? Experts discuss in depth
To fully explore the potential of the Enneagram, I sat down with Elle to explore how this framework can help people connect more authentically. We discussed how our Enneagram—essentially our self-structure—shapes the way we see the world and interact with others. Guided by Elle, we take a deep dive into how this awareness can unlock new levels of empathy, not only helping us cultivate healthier dynamics with those around us, but also providing a roadmap for personal growth. I hope this conversation piques your curiosity as much as it does mine.
Ellie Pugh
Elle Pugh is a certified Enneagram counselor and coach, registered nurse, and entrepreneur dedicated to holistic wellness and personal growth. Elle is dedicated to helping individuals and organizations understand themselves so they can find healing and reconnect with each other.
How can knowing your Enneagram type help improve personal and professional relationships?
Your Enneagram is equivalent to your ego. We all develop our selves in early childhood to help us survive. The Enneagram describes the nine different types of selves we see in humans. Each is associated with certain preset beliefs about how the world works and behaves, and this type of self develops as a way to create security, gain respect, and a sense of control. But for every self, there are unconscious patterns that prevent us from thriving, called blind spots.
Understanding your Enneagram type is like holding a mirror up to yourself—you’re finally able to understand why you do the things you do, feel the way you feel, and think the way you think.
When you have this level of self-awareness, it becomes easier to understand how you are performing in your personal and professional relationships. You can identify patterns of communication and behavior that strengthen or limit your connections. By learning about other Enneagram types, it can also help you empathize with others by recognizing that they see the world through different lenses.
How do the different Enneagram types interact?
Professional relationships: Enneagram 1s value structure and high morals. In professional settings, they may be good at creating order and ensuring high standards, but they may also come across as fussy or overly perfectionistic. If an Enneagram Type 1 is working with an Enneagram Type 7, who prefers spontaneity and variety, tensions may arise when the Type 7 feels suffocated by the Type 1’s focus on rules and rigidity. But if the two types can understand each other, Type 1 can appreciate Type 7’s energy and creativity, while Type 7 can see the value of Type 1’s discipline and reliability. Not only do they not conflict, but they complement each other.
Personal relationships: Enneagram Twos know they must support and nurture their loved ones to meet their needs, but they often do so to the point of neglecting their own needs. If they are in a relationship with an Enneagram 5 who values independence and needs a lot of privacy, a disconnect may occur if the 2 feels rejected and the 5 feels overwhelmed by too much attention . By understanding their type, Type 2s can learn to give Type 5s space without feeling unappreciated, while Type 5s can recognize the Type 2’s need for connection and provide reassurance in their own way.
Ultimately, understanding your Enneagram type can provide you with a roadmap for growth. How to harness your strengths and challenges and how to meet the needs of others, whether collaborating on a work project or building deeper intimacy in your personal life. When both parties are self-aware, it opens up space for more honest, compassionate, and effective communication.
After discovering their type, what practical steps can people take to begin this journey of growth?
Understanding your Enneagram type isn’t just about taking a test, it’s about deeply exploring who you are and how you’ve always conducted yourself. Here are six steps I always recommend people take. By following these steps, you will discover the patterns that shape your behavior and learn how to use this awareness to grow in your personal and professional life.
1. Understand all nine types
If you’ve taken an online quiz to discover your Enneagram type, that’s a great place to start! But don’t stop there. Use it as an entry point. Read all nine types, especially the first three in the quiz, and ask “why” you do what you do.
Self-observation is key.
2. You are just one type
You may feel connected to multiple types, but you will always have a dominant type. To find it, think about who you’ve always been since you were a teenager—especially when you’re tired or stressed. These automatic behaviors reveal your true type, even if you’ve learned to manage them over time.
3. Explore 27 subtypes
Yes, there is more! Each type is divided into three sub-types (self-protective, social, or one-on-one), and it’s important to know your type. Subtypes help clarify your dominant type. Dig deeper – it’s worth it. Please check out my blog for more information.
4. Think of your type as the mask you wear
Your Enneagram is equivalent to your ego. This is the mask you learn to wear to keep you safe and comfortable. For this reason, our type reveals to us who we are not. Our job is to take off the mask so we can regain our full, authentic selves.
5. Practice self-observation
The Enneagram arouses curiosity. Start observing your behavior. When you become aware of your unconscious patterns, you wake up and stop sleepwalking throughout your life. This is where the change begins.
6. Ask if your personality is holding you back
Once you start observing, ask yourself: Why am I behaving this way? How does it hinder me or hurt others? What can I gain by letting go? These questions can help you move from awareness to transformation.
For more details on these steps, you can download my free “I Know My Type, Now What?” guide.
What advice would you give to someone struggling to identify their core type? How should they deal with this uncertainty?
This is entirely to be expected, since the entire map—all nine points—represents our entirety. When we are young, we have free access to all nine points. Over time, in early childhood, as we develop our ego, we lose connection with the other eight points. However, there are several types of tendencies you may be involved with. It’s important to know that this is to be expected.
Many types look the same on the surface. For example, some types are easier to please, while others are more truth-telling, and some are more optimistic while others are less optimistic. But the motivations for each type of representation are quite different.
As I mentioned above, to achieve deep transformation using the Enneagram framework, it is important to identify one of your dominant types. You can check out my resource page to help you determine your core type, or schedule an expert typing interview with me to discover your type.
The Enneagram is sometimes criticized for being too complex. What would you say to someone who is hesitant to explore the Enneagram for these reasons?
That’s why it’s so beautiful. This is not a party trick or a quick fix to a problem. The Enneagram is a sacred framework that you can learn from throughout your life.
In Western culture, our attention span has all but disappeared—leaving us unable to stop and reflect. This is the result of our addiction to constant stimulation. The Enneagram is a tool that can help you slow down, make room for reflection, and get clarity about who you are so you can live a connected and meaningful life.
It does have a lot of layers and understanding how to work with the Enneagram can be a little overwhelming. That’s why I created the 9-Week Coaching Program from Self to Essence to guide you through the basic principles of the Enneagram.
