While this is not a novel concept, I am committed to this truth as my personal PSA: you can change your mind anytime. This is a truth I didn’t realize until I was in my 30s. (It wasn’t until I was in my 40s that I truly embraced it with confidence.) At 42, I remind everyone not to be tied down by one idea, decision, or idea, and to allow yourself the freedom of choice.
But wait, how did we get here? I’m glad you asked.
Featured image taken from our interview with Nitsa Citrine.
5 reasons why you should free yourself to change your mind
Earlier this summer, I desperately needed a vacation. What’s more, I was eager Time spent with friends. Life was hitting me hard at once and I needed my support staff and time outside of Austin. My friend showed up out of the blue and invited me to vacation with her family on the East Coast. This is exactly what I need.
Until that wasn’t the case. About a month passed and more life happened. When the trip started, I couldn’t bring myself to go. That’s not what I need – in fact, I need the opposite. I crave time alone, without seeing other people. I couldn’t spend any time on a plane, in a car, or with anyone else but myself.
When I realized this, I went crazy. Here I was, invited by a friend I liked, committing to a trip and investing in a flight. More importantly, I promised I would be there. I don’t want to seem unreliable or like a weirdo. So what did I do? I called my friends and told them I wasn’t going to make it after all.
Thankfully, this is a Very understanding Friends know that life happens and things change. This is also a low-risk cancellation. No firm plans have been set aside for the trip itself. My friends make it easy for me to ask for what I need, speak my truth, and take care of myself. It was a beautiful reminder that I am free to change my mind.
This concept – again not new or groundbreaking – feels like the most authentic way to live. Here’s why.
be honest with yourself
Imagine if we all navigated life with a single mindset and thought, “I said this (insert whatever statement you want here), so I must live like this forever.” Horrible.
When we know better, we do better. Ultimately, we learn to make better choices for ourselves.
allow second chances
Maybe someone’s behavior annoyed you and you rejected them. Maybe they support something you can’t support. Or maybe someone is going through a tough time but doesn’t have the tools to deal with it. But, nonetheless, what if they change? What if they did the work themselves and came out the other side better? Allowing yourself the freedom to change your mind about someone or a situation allows us all to be human and have the opportunity to grow.
*Readers, this should go without saying, but there are always exceptions. You decide your threshold.
Encourage others to tell the truth
Have you ever been in a group setting and felt like you would be judged in some way if you went against the groupthink or shared viewpoint? If so, first of all, I’m sorry you feel this way. I can relate. Thankfully, I don’t have a group of friends who don’t encourage different viewpoints, but I’m in a social environment where I’m not very comfortable sharing different viewpoints. Trust me, I know how isolating that feels.
In contrast, I’ve been in some great conversations where one shared a completely different perspective and I’ve seen others feel more confident speaking up. Sometimes all it takes is one person. Why don’t you become that person yourself?
I was also involved in a conversation where someone wanted to be a contrarian in order to fan the flames. Remember, you don’t have to have every conversation with the person you want to argue with.
Do what’s right for you—and only you.
Five months ago, I cut alcohol out of my life. This was originally going to be a 30 day elimination, but I ended up feeling good so I kept going. I love the way I feel, and I wrote an entire article about quitting drinking. I’ve also talked about it a lot on social media.
Will I return to alcoholism? I have no idea. perhaps. Maybe – ah, this is one of the best gifts you can say to yourself!
If I had to guess, I could see myself returning when it feels right or if there’s a special occasion when I want a drink. But that decision will be made by me and me alone, not anyone else and certainly not what anyone thinks on social media or elsewhere.
Now my mindset is this: I do what works for me and my life.
In a previous version of me, I might have been afraid of, say, returning to alcoholism after making a statement like this. “What are people going to think? Did I fail because I put it out there and now it’s back? Did I let people down? Did I let myself down? Any similar thoughts pop into my head. Now my mindset is this: I do what works for me and my life. I welcome feedback from close friends who are deeply involved in my life and generally care about it, but I will ultimately decide what is best for me.
I don’t know about you, but I find it so refreshing to be around people who allow themselves the freedom and flexibility in their lives to change according to their own needs.
Step into the life of your dreams
The more I allowed myself the flexibility to change my mind, the more I realized I was slowly moving away from expectations and people-pleasing. What a gift!
I’ve experienced some losses over the course of this year that have made the fragility of life so real and important. “We only have one life, so why shouldn’t that life be the truest, most honest version?” This thought kept recurring in my mind. Making room for changing my mindset, making mistakes, being challenged, seeing myself or what I thought I wanted differently, all of these things have made my life so much bigger. It also brings me closer to the life I want.
I recently made a career change into a completely new field of work. This was something I didn’t plan for, but I knew I needed to change. For years I thought I was heading in one direction until I finally became realistic and my perspective shifted thanks to the help of a former coworker. I remained open to the idea and left to find a new job. . If I don’t give myself the ability to change direction, I’ll be farther away from my goals.
One shift, but all that freedom gets me closer to where I want to be. I can’t wait to see how this mindset strikes me further. I hope it provides you with the same opportunity to grow.
