Unlike what romantic movies and romantic comedy series portray, love isn’t always about flowers and chocolates. Love in a relationship is a collaborative effort between two people. A relationship is only healthy and happy if both people put in the effort. Respect, communication, openness, and love between you and your loved one are the hallmarks that qualify you to be a happy and healthy couple.
There are many reasons why you might not be able to call your relationship healthy and happy right now. In fact, bad habits between couples can make any relationship unhappy and make even the strongest relationships fragile. Bad habits can seriously affect relationships.
Maybe right now you can’t quite figure out the issues you and your partner are facing, but you feel like there might be something wrong or missing in the relationship. If things have changed and neither of you is as happy as before, you may think your relationship is coming to an end. Even if you are loving and supportive, sometimes problems will continue to persist.
Before we explore the habits of couples who don’t break up, let’s explore why you might feel like something isn’t right. There could be many reasons. People often blame breakups on trivial life stresses, but these are not the reasons why couples break up. All of these seemingly disparate problems come down to three root causes:
they quarreled over their differences
At the beginning of a relationship, or what we call the honeymoon phase, differences between couples tend to be hidden. We focus more on the similarities than the differences. This is the time when attraction is strongest and relationships take time to form. But nothing lasts forever…right? You can’t stop the honeymoon phase from passing. But the good news is that once it passes, the relationship begins.
So in a real relationship, we often feel disappointed. Our needs are not always met. Sometimes there are things we don’t like about our partners. We may not always agree on important things. Once a relationship is actually established, conflicts between couples can escalate. They may feel that they have chosen the wrong partner, sometimes blame each other for their problems, and even consider breaking up.
This means that the couple has not found a way to resolve conflicts, solve problems, and accept differences. They are no longer as kind and generous to each other as they were when they first met.
They no longer care about the relationship
While we talk about a relationship requiring effort, a relationship also requires attention. Every couple can relate to an act that makes them very happy from the start. But then they started taking each other for granted. They no longer pay attention to each other. Once couples stop focusing on each other, they may experience disconnection, lack of contact and intimacy, and ultimately separation.
They will have a sense of growing apart, no longer feeling connected, no longer doing things together, no longer close to each other. Then, even life’s normal stressors often pile up, eventually crowding out time for romance and intimacy. The less attention paid to the relationship, the more likely the couple will let their mutual resentment tear them apart. Some couples divorce, separate, and break up because of growing estrangement and conflict, all caused by a lack of emphasis on the relationship.
They find it difficult to influence each other
The third and most common reason why couples eventually break up is that they find it difficult to influence each other. There is a clear lack of balance between the partners. Therefore, one or both parties may feel unable to influence each other when one feels they must adapt or change more than the other.
Relationships develop over time. Then, couples must adapt to changing circumstances. Roles may change and life experiences may vary. If one partner continues to stay the same while the other makes most of the changes, resentment may develop.
What’s the secret to a long-lasting, happy relationship?
If you feel like some or all of the above bad habits have become part of your relationship, you might think that changing that would mean a great romantic gesture. Well, that’s not the case. The secret is to develop healthy habits. Instead of doing big one-time things, people should develop healthy habits and do small things day after day, year after year.
Relationships are not a one-time endeavor, and if you agree that they are an ongoing, lifelong endeavor, then you can check out the seven habits of couples who never break up and stay on top of their relationships forever.
7 Habits of Couples That Don’t Break Up
Let’s take a look at the habits of happy couples who end up in happy, lasting relationships.
1. They seek “consensus” rather than “victory” in arguments
The way a couple handles their differences plays a big role in declaring a relationship healthy or unhealthy. Problems start to arise when both parties see winning the argument and conquering their partner as the main goal of any argument. But partners should never give one side the edge over the other or lose focus on reaching consensus.
Not knowing how to argue fairly often causes couples to end arguments prematurely because they are too frustrated or agitated to properly resolve the issue. Without determination, even temporarily, you will find it extremely difficult to move forward.
Experts say that even if an argument is challenging, couples should persist in finding a mutually acceptable compromise or solution. Failure to reach a resolution to their dispute can have a detrimental effect on the relationship. Happy couples know this.
2. They don’t make assumptions about their partner’s feelings—they ask
In the middle of a heated argument, it’s often easy for couples to jump to conclusions about each other’s feelings. But successful couples, which means couples that last and don’t break up, are able to focus on the context of the current argument rather than making sweeping generalizations.
It’s best not to make assumptions about each other’s situations and make sweeping conclusions about a situation. Couples should always be curious enough to ask and ready to listen without judgment.
3. They always respect each other
Different people often have different views on life. We are inevitably different. But that doesn’t mean we can start disrespecting people who don’t share our ideologies. When we show disrespect for our partner’s differences, we are signaling that we don’t accept all of them, but only some of them. This is not how it should be.
Respecting your partner is a habit that everyone should develop. Think of it like water—an essential ingredient for survival—without which happiness, health, and lasting connection are impossible. When you respect your partner, it shows your love, acceptance, and warmth for them. Even when disagreements arise, always show respect. The point here is that even if you disagree on an issue, showing respect will help you deal with the issue as a team. It makes such a difference in the world – more than you can imagine.
4. They make a conscious effort to take time to check in with each other regularly
Life gets busy. When couples get caught up in busy lives, they often go into autopilot and start going through the motions. But long-term couples know the importance of consciously nurturing their relationship. They value regularly scheduled opportunities to check in with each other. They stop.
You can do anything from a quick review before bed every night to a more in-depth sit-down once a year. A conscious effort, no matter how small, can make all the difference, and happy couples seem to confirm this.
5. They turn off the TV and spend time together at night
It is impossible for couples to communicate when the TV is always on. Staring at the TV screen at night won’t let you make any connections at all. Couples who turn off the TV at night and spend quality time together are happy couples.
Sure, couples can occasionally cuddle up and watch a movie and bond, but you should avoid watching TV most nights. It’s better to ask your partner how their day was and plan your next vacation or date night, rather than aimlessly passing the time. Happy couples focus on growing their relationship and talking about things that need to be addressed.
6. They cook and clean together
It’s so much fun to cook and clean with your partner. Even if you don’t normally enjoy cooking or cleaning, doing these fun couple activities together will make them more fun. The habit of cooking together creates intimacy, connection, and love. After it’s cooked, eating the food you cooked together makes the whole experience an intimate act and the two of you can develop a deeper connection. It’s also a great opportunity to spend some quality time together.
If a person doesn’t enjoy cooking as much as they enjoy cleaning, it may be best to have one person do the cooking and another person clean up the mess caused by cooking. The emphasis is on teamwork and taking pleasure in accomplishing something together. When you complement each other’s tasks, it becomes a way to appreciate the hard work the other has accomplished. Even if it’s as simple as washing the dishes, isn’t it important to always appreciate and value your partner?
7.They dance together
It’s a fact, the closer, the closer. Likewise, the closer you are, the closer you are. When couples take online dance classes together, they can build a higher level of connection. Their relationship got better and they enjoyed a more physical intimacy. Whenever a couple is on the dance floor together, it automatically becomes a private moment for them in their own world.
Many social events require dancing. From weddings, dates to parties and more, it’s a safe bet that dancing can be interrupted at any time at such events. So why do couples stand by while the orchestra plays bachata music (the music to which we dance bachata)? Being able to keep up with your partner means a certain amount of social grace and the ability to blend in and fully enjoy the quality time together. In fact, just the process of learning a skill like dancing can bring couples closer than ever before. Dance Incubation offers a free video series where you’ll learn how to move your body in 3 everyday situations. It’s fun and very different and allows you to really incorporate dance into your daily life without taking classes, spending a lot of time or even leaving home.
give it to you!
Relationships are teamwork. Life is already a grand dance that becomes even smoother if executed correctly. You can get more out of your life and relationship with all of these healthy habits. Dance together, cook together, exercise together. Lead and follow, and you’ll be as happy as those couples who don’t see breakup as a solution but work through it. Even the most perfect relationship won’t last without constant effort, and if someone tells you otherwise they’re just lying to your face.
