This weekend I stumbled upon a way to help my kids stop fighting…
Toby, Anton, and I were lucky enough to be able to borrow a friend’s house on the North Fork. Just how gorgeous is it? She has an incredible eye for color and pattern.
“Before” photos haha
However, both boys were in a bad mood when we arrived. To be fair, they had had a long week (field trips, class trips, graduation, late nights, long train rides) and were exhausted, but their bickering drove me crazy. I sent them to different bedrooms to rest and then instituted a points system where if they continued to argue they would lose dessert. Are these strategies effective? No, dear reader, no, they don’t.
Finally, at my wits end, I told them, “Guys, I’m not going to spend a weekend listening to two kids fight. What do I need to do to make you stop?” Then I casually added, “I should give Do you like it? “
They all stopped and looked at me. “Yes?” Anton said. “What does that mean?” Toby asked. I told them that if they performed well against each other, say 10 points, we could go to the local school field and play baseball. “Deal!!!” They agreed.
And, boy, the results were immediate. Immediately, the boys started talking and laughing. When Toby was thinking about starting a national whiffleball league, Anton said, “Man, you’re actually going to be good at this.” When Toby received two bronze rings on the town carousel, he gave one of them Gave it to Anton so they could get a free ride.
We made it to baseball!
The whole scene reminded me of a family camping trip I took in high school. My siblings and I don’t get along well, and my dad his At a loss what to do. I remember thinking to myself, I don’t want to fight anymore, but it felt so awkward and vulnerable to suddenly put myself out there and be sweet to my siblings. Isn’t this interesting? I was like, I guess we’re in a fight; the train has left the station and none of us can get off.
But through “nicer” methods, they are not only encouraged to stop debate,But in fact connect. They were in great shape after our baseball game, so continued to get along and enjoy each other’s company – no points system required.
Our weekend ended on such a high note that I thought I’d share. I’d love to hear: How do you help your kids get along? What worked? what is certain no working already? Please be heavyweight, we are all in this together! Huhuhu
PS Five ways to reduce sibling rivalry, three words that changed the way I parent, and 21 completely subjective rules for raising teenage boys and teenage girls.
