We discuss everything from funny annoyances to how to make sex great when it comes to marriage, and we’ve collected some priceless reader comments over the years. Here are some favorites…
Regarding great advice:
“People often say communication is the key to a successful marriage, but I disagree. I believe it’s communication with kindness. If you’re just communicating unkind things, communication won’t do your marriage any good. Kindness (and generosity) ) is the key. – Whitney.
“In September we’d be nine years old and we’d always sleep under different blankets. Friends and family would make fun of us when they found out, but using the same cover would always turn into a half-asleep tug-of-war. Now we each have a blanket made of a fabric and weight we like and it is Bliss. A friend recently told me marriage advice, “Do whatever creates the least amount of resentment between the two of you.” Life lesson there! — Holly
On feel-good rituals:
“My partner and I have turned those simple, beautiful moments into a routine. We always go for a walk before bed around 10pm. We also have haiku contests when we’re stuck on the train – the key is randomness Choose a topic and keep the haiku to one minute or less. When one of us is nervous about a job interview or a difficult conversation at work, we remind the nervous person, “No matter what the outcome, I’ll do it. Not loving you more or less. ” It’s helpful to have reminders like this. — Hannah
When knowing they are the one:
“One time I knew my husband was the one I should never let go of was in the middle of the night, only a few months into our relationship. He was fast asleep, but he rolled over and hit me hard. . Even while half asleep, he cared and made sure I was okay (I was totally okay). I felt so at peace in that moment and he was truly the most loving, gentle, kind person I knew. Nearly four years of marriage, two cross-country moves, multiple job changes, and a very scary medical event later…he was even better than I could have ever imagined that night — a girl named Erin.
On keeping the spark alive:
“I’ve never considered myself a ‘physical’ person, but my husband definitely is. After 11 years of marriage and at 40, he still hangs around me and makes out with me in the kitchen. He’s still very… Sexy style, it’s an incredible feeling that he’s still popular after having kids, gaining weight, and working long hours.
Regarding compromise:
“We probably have a controversial approach to almost everything in our marriage, and that is to let the person with better skills, better vision, and better ability decide. My husband is awesome – awesome! – can do everything from give a squirming baby a bath to make an old birthday cake recipe “just like grandma used to make” and he was rubbish at decorating when I met him at 26. He had the world. So when it comes to decorating our house, I always ask for his opinion, but we both know his opinion is usually overturned by mine. Both are great at this, especially since it means he can organize activities as he pleases, our kids are clean, and everyone has delicious cake at the end of the day. —Hillary
Regarding adapting to changes:
“When we met, this incredible woman, who is now my spouse, was a vegetarian, and so was I. About two years into dating, she said she wanted to eat meat. I was completely shocked. But the important thing is , she told me about her desire to change, and not just to change without me by her side. I was grateful that she knew me well enough to know that I would object to her eating meat, but respected me enough to tell me hers. Ideas. We discussed it for several months and finally came up with some ground rules for our new dining routine. It’s important that your partner (and yourself) respect each other during the process.
“I met and started dating my husband in high school about 25 years ago. One of my relationship tips is to carry around a photo of him at 17 to remind myself how lucky I am that he’s not the one who ran away . We all grow up and change a lot, but when I think about what it felt like to love someone new for the first time and the intensity of love that we had when we were young, I can remind myself that those feelings I had were. For the guy in front of me right now… …a handsome 17 year old guy in the same photo.
What would you add? We’d love to hear…
PS Reader Comments on Love and the best relationship advice I’ve ever received.
(Photo by Irina Bo/Stocksy.)
